Pens, Paper, & Ammo

While my blogging has been scarce over the past few weeks, my cooking hasn’t. The following recipes are some of my favorite meals. They are also super easy, cheap, and healthy. Hope you enjoy!
Sexy Low Fat Mocha Cupcakes with a Peanut Butter Fudge Topping (adapted from VCTOTW)

Smuckers the Jellyfish loves him some cupcakes. He also has a lovely hat.

These cupcakes were made completely on a whim. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love VCTOTW’s recipes, but I was hoping for a chocolate variation of the Sexy Low Fat Vanilla Cupcakes. Armed with day-old coffee and with some rummaging through the cupboards, this recipe was born. Don’t be put off by the lack of measurements for the frosting. Just combine the peanut butter, powdered sugar, and soy milk until it reaches a thick consistency. I make it in small quantities because we unfreeze cupcakes two at a time and ice them right before eating.

• 1/2 c. vanilla yogurt (I couldn’t find soy)
• 2/3 c. vanilla soy milk
• 3 tbsp (more or less) coffee grounds
• 1/4 c. applesauce
• 3 tbsp. Smart Balance Omega-3 oil (or canola oil)
• Approx. 2 tbsp strong coffee
• 3/4 c. sugar
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 1/4 c. all-purpose flour
• 1/4 c. cocoa power
• 2 tbsp. cornstarch
• 3/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt

Icing (I didn’t measure this because I make small batches when needed):

• Peanut butter
• Powdered sugar
• Soy milk

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Get cupcake liners ready or arrange silicon baking cups onto cookie sheet (I love these things).
2. Place the coffee grounds in a filter (one of those plastic and mesh reusable ones). Pour soy milk into a small sauce pan and place the filter in the pan. Heat soy milk for a few minutes until the coffee has infused into the milk.
3. While the milk is cooling, combine the yogurt, applesauce, oil, sugar, and vanilla. Add the soy milk and mix until blended. Sift in flour, cocoa powder, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Mix until well blended.
4. Fill cupcake liners three-quarters of the way. Bake for 21-23 minutes. Remove cupcakes from oven and cool on a rack.
5. Lick the bowl and spatula. Get batter all over face and generally look like a five-year old.
6. Combine peanut butter and powdered sugar. Blend as much as possible, use soy milk to make the mixture more “icing-like.” Just eyeball this part. It’s usually better if you let it chill out in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Ham, Green Beans, and Potatoes

The MH’s favorite “peasant” meal. Easy, cheap, and nutritious!

This is probably my husband’s favorite “Irish peasant” meal. I’m pretty sure it isn’t Irish, but it definitely is filling and cheap. In total, this meal can feed six people for under 8 dollars. Nine chances out of ten I have all the ingredients around on any given day, making this a handy go-to meal on a hectic evening. Compliments must be given to my mother and father who made this dish many times in my childhood. The smoky scents of the ham and the pungent, but delicious, smell of vinegar always reminds me of simpler times.

Here are the ingredients, since I’m feeling lazy:

Green beans, 3 potatoes, Goya ham seasoning, 3 cups ham cubes, and vinegar

1. Dump green beans (including the water) into a large pot. Add approx. a cup of vinegar (more or less, according to taste). Add four packs of Ham seasoning. Cook until the beans have picked up the vinegar and ham flavor.
2. Peel potatoes and cut into medium size chunks. Add the ham (I just cubed a precooked ham steak) to the beans.
3. Cook until the ham is hot. Add the potatoes and cook until they are fork tender. Season with salt and pepper. I smother mine in ketchup, but I’m weird like that.

Steak and Shake Copycat Chili

Steak n’ Shake chili - vegetarian option

I don’t miss many things about living in Pittsburgh except one: Steak n’ Shake. It was the one gleaming gem in an otherwise dismal selection of Pittsburgian eateries. Not being much one to eat a big hamburger, I decided to try the chili. I was hooked. Once moving to Harrisburg, I could feel myself slowly sinking into a S’n'S deprivation. I felt hopeless that I would ever taste such wonderful chili. However thanks to the glorious and expansive intarwebs, I now have a yummy copycat recipe.

• 1 1/2 lbs. lean ground hamburger (I make it with turkey for my husband and meatless for me, but use hamburger or ground steak if you want the “real thing”)
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 packet of onion soup mix
• 1/2 to 1 c. water
• 2 tbsp. chili powder (I add more…)
• 3 tsp. cumin powder (again, add more or less to suit tastes)
• 1/8 tsp Cayenne pepper
• 1/2 tsp. black pepper
• 3 (15 oz.) cans kidney beans (or add chick peas, white beans, etc)
• 2 (6 oz.) cans tomato paste
• 1 (8 oz.) can tomato sauce
• 2 tsp. cocoa
• 8 oz. Diet Coke (or regular)
• 1 cup water

1. Brown beef (shredded steak or turkey) and drain all excess fat (I usually pat the pan with a paper towel too, but I’m completely fat-phobic when it comes to cooking).
2. In a large pot combine the kidney beans, tomato paste, tomato sauce, onion soup packet, water, and spices. Heat 20 minutes.
3. Add cocoa and then cola (the fizziness will go away, don’t worry). Simmer until flavors are well incorporated. Add meat to pot, or keep serve it separately to keep the meal vegetarian friendly.
4. Serve on spaghetti or macaroni. Top with shredded cheddar and raw onions.

Note: This is a VERY thick chili. The only water added is the tiny bit with the onion soup… also add the entire can of beans. Do not drain! Or, drain, but add extra water.

Brain Power Pizza

Get it? Do ya?!

I never ventured into making pizza at home until recently. Food Network assured me that it just couldn’t be done without an expensive “pizza stone” and “special” pizza pan. Not being one to buy unnecessary kitchen gadgets, I just gave up. However, I found one glimmering hope: Vegan with a Vengeance. While the authoress still felt that pizza was a million times better with a pizza stone (or at least a reasonable substitution), she didn’t completely dismiss the idea of making pizza without one. I felt empowered! While I still don’t have the dough stretching skills of a pizzeria veteran, it’s still interesting to see what shapes my rustic pizzas take. This one, a collaboration of mistakes between MH and I, amused me greatly.

I’m not including a recipe for this one because I’m not totally sure how to whole copyright thing works in regards to recipes from cookbooks. Basically, make your favorite pizza dough or use a pre-made one. Smear sauce on it and throw on some toppings. Bake at 500 degrees for about 8 minutes and munch happily.

Obviously this is the MH’s slice. I think mushrooms are vile.

Phew. That took far too long. Never again will I let recipes pile up like this.

Ain’t nothing sadder than watching a grown woman lick cupcake batter from a bowl twice as large as her head…

Sexy Low-Fat Vanilla Cupcakes from VCTOTW.

I still haven’t grasped the fine art of cupcake decorating, but the husband (hereby designated MH, Mecha-hubby) didn’t seem to much care. Also worth noting: I cheated, these cupcakes were not completely vegan (I’m not vegan, just trying to limit cholesterol and animal products) as I used regular yogurt in place of the (extremely hard to find) soy stuff.